Sad Times

Today is a sad day. I was told Monday March 22 that my sweet baby had gone to live with Jesus. I was absolutely crushed at the time and still am, but every moment that passes, every hour that goes by makes it a little easier. I understand that as a God fearing woman, Jesus loves me soooo much and is taking care of my angel in heaven.
I just wanted to take a few moments to express what it felt like to go through this and hope to recap later on, but here it goes. I had some unexpected bleeding on Week 8 Day 4. We went to the doctor Week 8 Day 6 and heard that wonderful most precious noise that brings tears to my eyes everyone, that sweet little heartbeat. We felt like we when in the clear. The doctors put me on bedrest for the week, (my springbreak). When I went back on Week 9 Day 6 we had no heartbeat. I bled all week and had some cramping that did feel like period cramps. I do a good job of worrying but I really thought that everything was going to be okay. I was there with my sweet momma when we had the sonogram. That day March 22, my sweet baby had toes. Thats what I couldnt get over and wish I hadn't looked because you want to see that flicker, but no flicker of a heartbeat. It was very sad. I elected to do a suction d & c today March 23. It went so well. I couldn't have asked for better care. Thank you ladies.
I understand that this blog might upset some people and for that I am sorry. I started this blog to give myself an outlet, to write and express myself. I hope that you can take this entry with stride or just skip it and don't read it. BUT I needed it.
I will always love our first baby Nowell and can't wait to meet you in heaven. I also wanted to say that my friends and family have been awesome. So without Jesus, my Gav, family, and friends I wouldn't have made it. Thank you all and I love you.

Revelation 21:4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes, and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain, for the former things are passed away.