Insecurity

I went to a Beth Moore conference this morning on Insecurity (in women). And it was such a blessing, but I have decided that my most recent insecurity is that I may never get over this miscarriage. Ever since I have come home, Ive had the miscarriage cloud hanging over my head. Its fixing to be 6 weeks since it happened and Im sorry to say Im not there yet. Ive heard from other women that it takes a long time. But Im here to tell you, I feel so haunted by it. I pray and I pray and I seek guidance from people around me, but I can't find my strength. Now come to think of it, Ive thought alot about it this past week. I dont know what to do or where to go from here. I need you Lord now more than ever. Ive never felt more alone. Please wrap me in your arms...

BIG DAWGZ

I hate to admit it but since we got Mac, I have neglected my two big labs, Goose and Roxy. Gavin and I were planning on getting one of his brother's lab's puppies, but then we found out she wasn't pregnant and we couldn't wait. So Gav found this place in Tylertown with black lab puppies. We drove out and picked up our first baby. I will never forget it. I entered the cage with Gav's mom and we thought, "Aw this one is so calm, this is the one." Little did we know that Goose would turn out to be the wildest, goofiest, spastic dog we've ever seen. He has always been wild and hasn't calmed down yet. So now we have Goose and we had just gotten engaged.

We got Goose in May and in the next few weeks we found out that his brother's dog was pregnant. We adore his brother's dog, Suzy, and really wanted one of her puppies. Well the puppies get here in July and we decided one day after church to go see them. BIG mistake or maybe it was the best blessing. I walk in, hold that puppy, and it was all over. Next thing you know we are leaving with what we called "my" dog, "my" baby girl, Roxanne or Roxy as we call her.

We get married in December of that year and move into a 1000 sq ft apartment on the 3rd floor. It was the most fun, challenging, and crowded year of my life. I will always remember having those dogs at that apartment, for good and bad reasons. When I say we were blessed by Roxy, I mean I can't imagine not having her in our life. She completed our family, until one weak moment in 2009 when Gav bought me an inside weenie dog you know as Mac.
Goose and Roxy are a pair and when one of them goes it is going to be hard for the other.
Here are few pics of my big dogs sitting with us on the front porch.

Goose showing off his tongue.
I've never seen a dog adore a human like Goose does Gavin
Roxy Baby
Goose Man!

Easter Weekend...

You might want to grab a cold drink and snack for this one..it's a little long.

Easter weekend started off with my mom and I going to see my new twin 2nd cousins, (got that)? Anyways, my mom's family lives in Monroe, LA. I adore going there. It holds sooo many special memories for me. Gav said one day he will take me to live there, and really it's not all that special, just family and that is special enough. But, we go to see my 1st cousin Peter and his wife Jennifer. They have a 2 year old JP and around 1 month old twins, Molly and Grady. They were all so precious. I've never known anyone personally to have twins so it was really neat watching how well they all flow together and have a nice little routine, for now anyways. Thanks Pete and Jennifer, we enjoyed loving on those babies.
After getting back from Monroe, I went to get "my girls" better known as Mattie and Millie. Now, I have 1 other neice and another on the way, but unfortunately the little girls live far away, and at this season of my life, Mattie and Millie are close, but I love them all the same. Sorry had to get that out of the way. I get Mattie and Millie just about every Tuesday, but this was a special day, they got to spend the night. We started off the night painting on the porch, eating some junk food(sorry Amelia), and later we dyed some Easter Eggs. We had so much fun. They are getting to be giggly little girls. They tell secrets and make jokes. Although, they really are completely and I do mean completely different. I will write about this later, but for now I love you girls and you will always have a Yaya.
I guess I should explain that I am Yaya to my neices and nephews. It's pronounced like dayday. Now you know.
My girls on the porch. It was such a beautiful day. They are eating pizza rolls, Mattie loved them and I think Millie ate them just because Madison did.?.?.?

SATURDAY
Saturday morning was so great. I love waking up with my hubs in the bed and not at work on the weekends. We got up and took the girls home, made some stops, then off to Clinton for TJ's 1st Birthday. I love my Nowell family and the little ones they have made. TJ is Gav's sister, Marianna's first baby boy. We had a blast, especially in the jump jump Mae Mae and Poppy bought for all the grandkids. They knew I would probably get in too. I couldn't resist.
Hannie with the Singing Bday Cake. It comes to every party. TJ didn't know what to think.

Caleb really enjoyed the cake.

SUNDAY
We woke up and went to a beautiful and emotional (for me) Easter Sunday service. We love our new church. After church, Gav and I spent time together and alone it was so nice. After taking our traditional Sunday nap, we headed to my mom's park in her neighborhood, better known as Nana's park, for the 1st Annual Adcock Easter Egg Hunt. My mom really is a great Nana. She put loose change in some of the eggs just like she did when I was little. Wow did it make my neices and nephews day to get those eggs with 10 and 25 cents in it. The kids had a blast and I managed to catch a few pics too. Happy Easter!

Uncle Fish and Mattie...

Sela Bug
The whole gang, left to right (Sela, Mattie, Millie, Hunter, Harrison, and behind Harry is Hayes)


Oops I almost forgot, my baby, Mclovin turned one on Easter Sunday. Happy Birthday Mac. I love you and will always always dress you up and embarass you. Love Mama

Sela's Bday

Sela's birthday was the weekend before Easter weekend. She is our little Easter present forever... Anyways her birthday was held at the Reunion Equestrian Center?. She is really into "sorsies" and of course she would be because that's how my brother and I grew up with lots of "sorsies", so naturally he would carry on the tradition. My SIL Carmen had the place decked out with horse posters, rocking horses, a real live horse to ride, and a table for Queen Sela and all her friends. By the way, her name is pronounced like Sheila but it's Sela (long e). We had a blast and had some yummy cake that looked like a "sorsie" head. I love you Sela and I am so proud to be your Yaya.

Guard Dog

Here is Mac on a good day. Nice and lazy and calm....and then....
"Uh Oh Mama! Something at the window...I will protect you."
"I've got my eye on you."
The culprit is clearly spotted in our front yard. Mac is especially not fond of this dog.
"Yeh, you better get out of my yard, you mangy mutt."
Thank you Jesus for my sweet guard dog.